Unconditional love in Dolfin shorts

Richard Simmons is certifiably insane. And I love him.

 

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I met him a little over a year ago at the first “SWEAT” class I attended. Some friends and I discovered that he had a studio in Beverly Hills where he teaches aerobics classes three times a week. My reaction was skeptical: the manic exercise queen king of the 80s is still at it? Turns out: very much so, and still rocking his tiny shorts and ridiculous hair. So, for the novelty of it, I went.

 

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Yes, his glasses are made out of pencils.

 

Here is what you can expect when you meet Richard Simmons: a hug, a kiss, a compliment, a teasing insult, and a couple bars of a Broadway show tune. And the kind of magical knowledge that, even though you’ve only just met, Richard Simmons genuinely cares about you. Just because you are a human being, he sincerely wants to know how you are and if he can help you.

 

That first class was nuts. I don’t know how many calories are burned by smiling for an hour straight and singing along while you do shoulder-rolls, but it was awesome.  I’d never had so much fun working out, or had an hour of cardio exercise go by more quickly.

 

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Since then, I’ve attended maybe 30 classes at Slimmons. I live for the “motivational” stuff he yells at us:

  • “I wanna lick your neck right now!” (and, to wit, he has actually done this to some of us)
  •  “GET LOWER!  Pretend like there’s a Milano cookie on the floor.”
  • “Don’t clink your weights together! I swear to God, if you don’t control them I will close these doors and we’ll play Anne Frank. I’m serious.”
  • “You fed it, you lift it!”
  • “Bring your knees up higher, this is BULLSHIT.”

 

I’d tell you more about his antics, but words don’t really do his particular brand of craziness justice. I’ll leave you with a video from a class just before Easter, where my friends and I dressed up like Playboy bunnies:

 

 

If you ever get the chance, go work out with Richard Simmons.  The crazy, wonderful little man will not disappoint – I promise.

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5 thoughts on “Unconditional love in Dolfin shorts

      • 😀 You can take the teacher out of the classroom…

        Thank you! Do you feel like this is an accurate representation of what you experienced? And, did I tell you — I’m going to be in one of his workout DVDs?!?

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