To Big Kahuna, or Not to Big Kahuna?

Sorry to interrupt your regularly-scheduled Recipe Monday, but I would love to think and write about this issue a little bit, and get some feedback: I am seriously considering not participating in what was to be my A-race this season, the “Big Kahuna” 70.3 triathlon in Santa Cruz in September.

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There was no one big catalyst for this, more like a bunch of smaller things adding up to leave me feeling unmotivated and disinterested. “Incapable” is a word that comes to mind but isn’t quite right. I know I COULD do it – I could force myself through training, and I could slog through the race… but right now it seems pretty unappealing. I think this started with the Sacramento International triathlon… the feeling of being slow and fat and close to last after working so hard for the past couple months was just awful.

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I wasn’t even happy at the START of the race…

I’ve also bitten off more than I can chew in my social/personal life. I’ve joined a burlesque troupe and the time involved in putting together costumes and rehearsing is significant. Add that to work (which is its own separate issue) and just having a life in general, and any free time I have lately, I tend to want to spend flopped on my bed reading a book.

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My idea of heaven.

Depression is something I’ve struggled with most of my life, and stress is definitely a trigger. Without getting into too much detail, let’s just say there is plenty of stress to go around lately, and it’s getting to be about time to visit my therapist. So just, in general, I feel like a mess. Everything seems really hard. For the past few weeks, I’ve missed more workouts than I’ve completed. And for the next few months there seems to be something eating up every other weekend, which is when longer training sessions have to happen.

Oh! Not to mention, I still haven’t found the right saddle, and on my last long bike ride I got two matching and very painful saddle sores. So bike training seems especially daunting.

MEH. Let’s do some pros and cons.

Reasons NOT to do Big Kahuna:

  • Don’t want to. Doesn’t sound fun anymore.
  • It would be a big load off, time and stress wise, to not be training so much over the next 47 days.

Reasons TO do Big Kahuna:

  • Follow through on commitment, meeting this challenge will feel good in the end.
  • Not waste money (registration fee already paid, though hotel is not…).
  • External goals help me meet fitness objectives.

That’s all I’ve really got.  What do you think?

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12 thoughts on “To Big Kahuna, or Not to Big Kahuna?

  1. Well if it no longer appeals to you then why do it?
    You may feel obligated because it was an objective but that doesn’t mean you cant change your mind. Focus your energy on another race that catches your eye in the near future.
    Btw you are doing great! Keep it up! 😉

  2. This is a difficult one. There are times when I have felt like just not doing anything any more and then I go for a long bike ride or run and that sorts it all out for me. If you are not motivated by it then give it a week or so an be truly certain that you don’t want to do it. You might just be a bit burnt out right now.

    • There’s some wisdom there. I took most of last week off and, mentally at least, I feel ‘ready’ for a workout today. I don’t know if I feel ‘ready’ for the grind of weeks of 2-workout days and long-workout weekends, though.

  3. My instinct says give yourself a break. It’s okay to change your plans. The real question to ask yourself, I think, is would the good feelings from following through on the commitment outweigh the bad feelings if you have another experience similar to Sacramento? Of course there’s no guarantee that you’ll have an experience like that, you could commit and kick ass and feel great. But my sense is, knowing you and that you tend to over-commit yourself, that you would feel best giving yourself a break right now. Either way you decide, you have my full support.

    • I know you get it. I’m worried that NOT doing this race will lead to more depression/feelings of failure, and stagnation/weight gain as well.

      The burlesque show is this Thursday, and I think that being over will help a lot, so I won’t make a definite decision til next week. I did limit myself to just ONE number that someone else choreographs for the next one, so, I’m learning. 🙂

  4. *Achievable* goals are great for keeping us going. Overwhelming goals… well, they can just shut us right down. Tris are no small potatoes. They are BIG STUFF. They take a huge amount of time and commitment. If there are other more-important-to-you things you want in your life, then perhaps smaller runs/events should be your fitness goals so you can make room.

    Twinkies and Ding-Dongs, girl – decide what you really want and parcel the money/time/emotional energy accordingly.

    • I’m thinking yes. I REALLY need to remember to race my own race, though, and not worry about how long it takes me. Also, this sickness needs to F off!

  5. I think that’s the way to go
    Sometimes when we put too much pressure on ourselves or take on too much, everything becomes no fun. Training becomes a chore, not fun and exciting. That being said, you’ve made such good progress you hate to give up especially if ur gonna beat yourself up about it.
    “Ride it dont race it” no pressure ! have fun! You’re your only critic (unless you have a really critical parent, but u know what I mean!?)

    Good luck whatever your decision!

    And thx for reading!

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