Sorry to interrupt your regularly-scheduled Recipe Monday, but I would love to think and write about this issue a little bit, and get some feedback: I am seriously considering not participating in what was to be my A-race this season, the “Big Kahuna” 70.3 triathlon in Santa Cruz in September.
There was no one big catalyst for this, more like a bunch of smaller things adding up to leave me feeling unmotivated and disinterested. “Incapable” is a word that comes to mind but isn’t quite right. I know I COULD do it – I could force myself through training, and I could slog through the race… but right now it seems pretty unappealing. I think this started with the Sacramento International triathlon… the feeling of being slow and fat and close to last after working so hard for the past couple months was just awful.
I’ve also bitten off more than I can chew in my social/personal life. I’ve joined a burlesque troupe and the time involved in putting together costumes and rehearsing is significant. Add that to work (which is its own separate issue) and just having a life in general, and any free time I have lately, I tend to want to spend flopped on my bed reading a book.
Depression is something I’ve struggled with most of my life, and stress is definitely a trigger. Without getting into too much detail, let’s just say there is plenty of stress to go around lately, and it’s getting to be about time to visit my therapist. So just, in general, I feel like a mess. Everything seems really hard. For the past few weeks, I’ve missed more workouts than I’ve completed. And for the next few months there seems to be something eating up every other weekend, which is when longer training sessions have to happen.
Oh! Not to mention, I still haven’t found the right saddle, and on my last long bike ride I got two matching and very painful saddle sores. So bike training seems especially daunting.
MEH. Let’s do some pros and cons.
Reasons NOT to do Big Kahuna:
- Don’t want to. Doesn’t sound fun anymore.
- It would be a big load off, time and stress wise, to not be training so much over the next 47 days.
Reasons TO do Big Kahuna:
- Follow through on commitment, meeting this challenge will feel good in the end.
- Not waste money (registration fee already paid, though hotel is not…).
- External goals help me meet fitness objectives.
That’s all I’ve really got. What do you think?